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You Can Deal With Bullies

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

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You Can Deal With Bullies

There are some people (particularly confused adolescents) who purposely act mean or hurtful to others, try to put them down, even when there is no specic reason. They are basically cowards and insecure persons who are trying to become popular, gain control, show off etc.

They may be facing academic difculties, punishment, behavior issues, and may be having pent-up anger which they try to bring out on the softest target. They may also be unloved at home, and have low-self esteem, which they will never admit.

Such people can make you feel sad, depressed, angry, vengeful, scared, confused, worried, or embarrassed. But if you are strong, these feelings go away and you can bounce back over a period of time.

Here are some practical tips that may help in dealing with such people. You may have to try different ones depending on the situation:

  • Act brave, sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. A bully may be less likely to give you trouble if you walk by as though you're not afraid and hold your head high. Don't have a deant attitude, have relaxed body language, call out t o s o m e o n e casually.
  • Ignore a bully, simply ignoring a bully's threats and walking away robs the bully of his fun. Bullies w a n t a b i g reaction to their t e a s i n g a n d meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior. Even if you are scared inside, don't show it, just move on or continue what you are doing.
  • Stand up for yourself, be assertive and confront him if bullying is mental and tell him to stop. You can look the bully in the eye (without showing anger or fear) and tell him to stop it, and just walk away. Maybe you can explain how it makes you feel. You can also try if you can get another friend to stand by you, and then walk away together. This is called the “buddy” system, and it helps quite often. You can help your friend when he needs you.
  • Don't bully back, don't hit, kick or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satises a bully and it is dangerous too because someone could get hurt. Its best to stay with others and stay safe.
  • Make groups, travel to school or social events in groups, don't walk alone. Be involved in group activities.
  • Here is something interesting:See if you can reach out to the bully when he is not bullying, just be nice and normal with him, smile, and show that you are not bothered or scared.
  • As far as possible (and if there is no direct threat to your safety) avoid making complaints to authorities. If you deal with it once, you will be empowered to deal with any bully you come across in life.

Bullies are basically cowards, and if you overcome your fear, you will learn to deal with them. Relax, take a deep breath, give yourself some positive strokes ... and tackle them. You will eventually win.

About the author


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