Workshop on: SEX EDUCATION: How to talk about sex with our kids?

The workshop started with a brief self introduction of Ms Maelle, then each person in the group introduced themselves and shared their opinion in coming to this workshop. Among them were budding counsellors, practicing counsellors, teachers, Gyneacologists and young mothers.

Venue: Banjara Academy, RT Nagar, Bangalore,
Date: Saturday, 23 Apr 2011 from 10.30 am to 12 noon
Conducted by: Ms Maelle Challan Belval

Ms Maelle started talking about sex education; she explained the common fears of parents in talking to children about sex, such as, 'Will it form a negative idea of sex at early age?', 'Will they come to know about sex before they are prepared', 'Would they try and experiment?'.

Ms Maelle said, sex education is not only about body, but includes mind and heart too. The first step in educating the child of sex and sexuality, is to teach them the right vocabulary of sex organs in the language you speak at home. Like you teach other parts of the body, you also teach the name of sex organs. They should be taught when they are toddlers. The second step is the parent should be comfortable to talk about sex as a natural topic like nature, rain, cloud, trees, etc.

As the children grow up there will be more inquisitive and curious questions. For a boy, he needs all information technically, for example, he will want to know why his penis is big and small, why his sister doesn’t have one, later he will come to the emotional part: how to deal with his girl friends likes and dislikes, etc. Whereas for a girl, she wants to deal with emotional issues first like the fears, the embarrassment they face as they grow and only later they want to know the technical aspects of it.

One of the participant asked how to deal with the morals and values pertaining to the sex and sexuality. Ms Maelle said give your child examples of healthy, strong and good relationships around you. Speak to them about their body when they are ready physically and mentally. Talk about your own experiences of love and sex. By this, the children will form a healthy and better attitude towards relationships and sex. This will help them to choose the right partner in their life.

One of the parent wanted to know how to deal with questions of condom and masturbation to her son. Ms Maelle said try to give the child the correct information, if you do not know some answers immediately, take your time to gather information and answer your child. Make it as simple as possible so that the child understands.

Ms Maelle said we should teach the child the importance of privacy in our life as early as possible, so that they respect the space and privacy of couple in their life.

There was one teacher who shared her experience. She counsels youngsters online. She had come across some youngsters who have formed a group of friends, they choose a partner from them to have a sex experience. These youngsters just want to know what sex is before they get married. This partner is only for sex. But it does not stop at that and they get emotionally involved with them. Ms Maelle said, this is because they do not understand that sex does not deal only with body but it relates to your mind and heart.

They were many question on homosexuality, live in relationship and so on. Ms Maelle said, make the youngsters aware of homosexuality as a natural thing for some people and to respect that also. She ended the workshop by saying that the children will have fantasies of sex and sexuality and we should make them understand the reality of it.


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