The Myth

Author: Lalita Jakathe

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The myth of romantic love is an illusion. A myth may or may not be true. But the experience will last forever. This myth is a cultural invention, a common tradition dating back to Middle Ages.

Emotions of romance and love would have been created by our own set of beliefs, or even infused by friends and related elders around us.

Reading the age old “Chandamama” story books, “Amar chitra katha” fairy tales where a handsome strong Prince and a poor damsel in distress, a Mermaid and the wood cutter (the list can go on) will fall in love and after a long tale of love will marry and live happily ever after,we as kids either by reading or hearing these tales would have been mesmerized with the quote “happily ever after” without having any doubt of what actually happens after this “ever after.”

A few other prevalent sayings by our own people like “God has destined and we all elders approve you both husband and wife” “Horoscopes are matching with maximum compatibility, so both of you can tie the knot of marriage” and so on, creates emotions of illusions of romantic love. And we believe or are made to believe that this is real.

These myths may actually be getting in the way of truly nding the “happily ever after” in our lives. Then what is true love?

Now after the marriage and the honeymoon phase, the real life begins. We begin to sense the beginning of problems. We feel the consequences of the unmet needs. We start to see the other person, more like they truly are, not what we needed or thought them to be. Then starts the fault nding with each other, a period of indifferent behaviors, ego clashes and thus remain together in misery or separate with a baggage of hurt, anger and being cynical of relationship.

True happiness of love is not a theory, a Solar Eclipse Men and Women Price of LOVE 7 writer's imagination or a ction, it must be created and experienced by the “self.”

Being aware of one's self is the 1st truth. Recognizing, managing my own thoughts, feelings in a compassionate way even if they are scary or inconvenient. Once I am committed to my own truth, then I can work to create a long lasting relationship.

Now, with the partner. He/she is a different individual with different pattern of thoughts, behaviors, cultural and t raditional upbringing. To recognize and understand this individual from his/her point of view is the next priority.

Both the individuals should rst accept their own feel. The Truth, the same level of accepting each other.

And now learning to adopt the four basic Truths. Respect for each other's individuality, the Trust on each other (the understanding attribute) the Commitment which is being with each other in unusual situations too and enveloping the magnicent communication mantra “Speaking and listening skills should rst be learnt and sharpened often”

These 4 basic Truths will surely create a strong spectrum of love for ever, as each other's individuality is the only foundation upon which a mature marriage can be based and real love can grow.

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