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Court ordeals of judges and lawyers

We feel too as we are human beings

If you think against hopelessness, grieving faces is generally a common sight in hospitals. Let me tell you that I witnessed it in a Court of Law as well, a Family Court to be more precise. Making way inside the jam-packed court halls with hardly any place to even stand, you actually enter into the lives of traumatized people, tortured parties, their shattered parents, helpless siblings, concerned friends, victimized children, you can see them all waiting, waiting to serve a tie, a bond of marriage.

Every case has its own sob story and it is truly heartrending to sit there and watch people narrate their ordeal. It is sad that one is forced to share something so personal before complete strangers. I can't stop thinking what did those innocent little kids do to deserve this. At an age when they should be reading fairy tales and given lessons on family bondings, they have to be attending courts totally unaware of what is happening between their parents. They have absolutely no clue why they meet  a parent once a month, why they get lovely gifts and their chocolates only on that 'special day'. Shuttling their lives between father and mother will they ever get the love of a family someday? I am nobody to comment if those naive minds are really tutored, brainwashed or instigated but one thing I am sure of is that they don't want to go through this trauma. I am sure none of us want any child to go through that agonizing phase. Then why is all this happening? Isn't it our duty to be more responsible towards ourselves, our commitments and leave a conducive environment, a healthier society, inter alia for the younger generation?

Every time I attend a Matrimonial Case I self interrogate asking am I doing something wrong? Invariably, I walk out of the Court Hall feeling guilty because for me a relationship like marriage is sacred and is unbreakable. It is quiet hard to accept that things may go wrong and such be severed. I still can't digest the fact that getting away from such a huge responsibility is so easy. If people think advocates are heartless, insensitive, indifferent - let me remind you that we are human beings too. It is not a matter of winning or losing for us, it is only getting someone the relief that they are seeking for.

It is indeed hard to see people suffer silently, to be a part of someone's fight, to weigh the responsibility of a man towards his wife and children in terms of money, to be a negotiator to see that the child's life being divided between parents and finally to accept the reality that all this is happening around us devastating many lives. If being a counsel this is my plight then I always wonder how does the decision maker, day in and day out witness such despair and still doesn't get carried away, and gives a Judgement as fair as he possibly can. Hats off to you, your Honour.

Making a virtue of neccessity

Gone are those days when people used to discuss beauty pageants, fashion trends and remix videos in social gatherings. Now, the talk of the town is the latest traffic jam one experienced and the ever confusing one-ways that make you go round and round the city.

Needless to say, maddening traffic jams and slow moving traffic has become an everyday affair in Bangalore. Blame it on anything or anybody; the fact is that there is definitely no escape from it. So my dear Bangaloreans let us look at the brighter side. While struck in a traffic jam, I've realized that there are many useful chores that one can do. Call it time management or ways to kill frustration, I have tried them all!

To start with, check for those unread messages and missed calls on that electronic gadget of yours, and this is the right time to reply and call back your acquaintances. Forgetful souls like me can make reminder notes on the E-calender, setting alarm for those special occasions and important dates. If you belong to the category who religiously follow a 'thing to do' list, then there is no time like this to plan your schedule for the day, week, weekend, etc, depending on the time in hand.

If you are done with all that, give that mobile phone a break and take a vigilant look around. You can update yourself with the latest gadgets, trends, unending models of bikes and cars that hit the roads and most importantly the shop and buildings which go un-noticed otherwise.

If you get tired of doing all and still have not moved a mile, sit straight, take a deep breath and relax! Nothing like it, if 'enigma' is playing in the background. Now start with some breathing exercise. Not only does it help keep your cool but will also make good for the day's quota of exercise. Turn around and you can see many curious faces wanting to know 'what happened?' I mean why the jam? A smile and then an enquiry, which may conclude with a conversation. Who knows you may even end up making a friend. The list of chores is inexhaustible. You can add on, keeping in view your requirement and conveniences.

I envy those who are chauffer driven. After having a quick bite, perusing every bit of news in the Newspaper, getting ready with their presentations on the laptop, and checking the inbox, they can even afford to take a nap at the cost of the driver's annoyance. I consider the commuters in bus more fortunate as they have an option to alight and walk down, provided the bikers spare the footpath for pedestrians.

Honestly, the idea of writing this Article hit me while I was a victim of one such jam the other day at J.C. Road when I took 120 minutes to cover a distance of 9 kilometers! Now, don't you really see the brighter side?

Authors Of Shared Thoughts

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Leading Banjara Academy's online email counselling team of volunteer-counsellors, I realize it is not an easy task reaching out to a person one has never met, never seen, without the added advantage of gestures, eye contact, a gentle reassuring touch, tone of voice and yet providing empathy, positive strokes, making the person feel heard and understood.

With the aid of only written words, it is quite a task building trust, making people open up and share and helping them cope and feel better. So when in many instances they write back saying thank you and that they feel so much better, the feeling one gets is priceless and incomparable - knowing one has done something right, something good!

Hats off to all the volunteeer-counsellors of Banjara Academy who have been carrying on this work silently, anonymously for the last couple of years. Truly commendable! - Ali Khwaja

This website was initially conceived and designed by the late Sitaram N
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