I am good ... with a twist!

I admit I belong to the category of those curious souls who give a second look to someone's attire only to read in full those witty one-liners. I have come across many interesting ones on Tees (T-shirts), but here are a few that I noticed on vehicles during my 'journeys' in namma Bengalooru.

Writings on Cars

Image Credit: Patrick Feller, cc-by-2.0, flickr.com

'Don't honk. The driver is trying to sleep.' was a Kumbhakarna's request. I still wonder in this routine of traffic jams and slow-moving traffic how that driver can afford to sleep.

'Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.' on a Tata Safari forced me to have a glimpse of the 'stupid people'. It was confirmed that it was a large group but definitely they didn't look stupid to me. Take it from me: after seeing those men laden with kilos of gold, no one would underestimate their power.

'The driver has no cash.' on a taxi was probably a message to the traffic cops to just let him go or probably a hint to start accepting debit/credit cards for traffic violations.

Art on a dirty car

Image Credit: John of Austin, cc-by-sa-2.0, flickr.com

'Do not wash. This car is undergoing a scientific dirt test.' made me wonder who on earth was conducting that test, in the first place. I'm afraid if the owner of that Esteem continued to be so sluggish, soon even that writing wouldn't be seen.

'Insured by Mafia: You hit me, we hit you!' was a warning on a Santro. Let me tell you that it was one of those few lucky cars I got to see in Bangalore, which was scratch and dent-free. I don't know if the credit should be given to the expert driver or that writing on his windscreen.

I am good ... with a twist

All the smileys in this page are from Open Clipart Library

'Hell is full. So I'm back!' - by the time I could ask him how the experience of the journey had been, he was gone! No wonder the world is turning to hell now.

'Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.' was presumably a drunkard's message. Now every time this man ventures out with that car, if the traffic cops remain alert, I am sure they would contribute considerably to the state government's revenue. What says you?

'My other car is a broom'. I doubt if this man is Sabrina's (the witch) distant cousin but how I wish I owned a broom like that.

Image Credit: emdot, cc-by-2.0, flickr.com

Lastly, one face that most of the Bangaloreans seem to love is that innocent-looking puppy in all sizes and colors peeping out of every other car's backside. And it is better that I don't talk about those writings on autos and lorries, because I'm still trying to figure out what they actually mean!

Contributions from the Banjara family on Facebook (we thank each of you for making the effort to share with all of us what you've observed!)

• It's my money my car.....what's itching you! (Rekha Mahesh)
• Give respect. Take respect. (Farzana Razack)
• I'm not driving fast, I'm just flying low. (Priya Prasad saw this on a car owned by some guy in the Air Force.)
• Don't touch me. Am sensitive. (Murali Sarma)
• I'm on my own, will not change for anyone. (Murali Sarma)
• Don't kick my ass ... I have enough.
• Bure Nazar Waale Tera Muh Kaala ("The Hindi curse often accompanies India's favourite demon face glaring at us from the backs, especially of lorries. How do I translate that to English? A lousy literal translation will be: If you cast an evil eye, may your face be blackened! Not good English, sorry!",  says Sreedhar MA)

Court ordeals of judges and lawyers

We feel too as we are human beings

If you think against hopelessness, grieving faces is generally a common sight in hospitals. Let me tell you that I witnessed it in a Court of Law as well, a Family Court to be more precise. Making way inside the jam-packed court halls with hardly any place to even stand, you actually enter into the lives of traumatized people, tortured parties, their shattered parents, helpless siblings, concerned friends, victimized children, you can see them all waiting, waiting to serve a tie, a bond of marriage.

Every case has its own sob story and it is truly heartrending to sit there and watch people narrate their ordeal. It is sad that one is forced to share something so personal before complete strangers. I can't stop thinking what did those innocent little kids do to deserve this. At an age when they should be reading fairy tales and given lessons on family bondings, they have to be attending courts totally unaware of what is happening between their parents. They have absolutely no clue why they meet  a parent once a month, why they get lovely gifts and their chocolates only on that 'special day'. Shuttling their lives between father and mother will they ever get the love of a family someday? I am nobody to comment if those naive minds are really tutored, brainwashed or instigated but one thing I am sure of is that they don't want to go through this trauma. I am sure none of us want any child to go through that agonizing phase. Then why is all this happening? Isn't it our duty to be more responsible towards ourselves, our commitments and leave a conducive environment, a healthier society, inter alia for the younger generation?

Every time I attend a Matrimonial Case I self interrogate asking am I doing something wrong? Invariably, I walk out of the Court Hall feeling guilty because for me a relationship like marriage is sacred and is unbreakable. It is quiet hard to accept that things may go wrong and such be severed. I still can't digest the fact that getting away from such a huge responsibility is so easy. If people think advocates are heartless, insensitive, indifferent - let me remind you that we are human beings too. It is not a matter of winning or losing for us, it is only getting someone the relief that they are seeking for.

It is indeed hard to see people suffer silently, to be a part of someone's fight, to weigh the responsibility of a man towards his wife and children in terms of money, to be a negotiator to see that the child's life being divided between parents and finally to accept the reality that all this is happening around us devastating many lives. If being a counsel this is my plight then I always wonder how does the decision maker, day in and day out witness such despair and still doesn't get carried away, and gives a Judgement as fair as he possibly can. Hats off to you, your Honour.

Making a virtue of neccessity

Gone are those days when people used to discuss beauty pageants, fashion trends and remix videos in social gatherings. Now, the talk of the town is the latest traffic jam one experienced and the ever confusing one-ways that make you go round and round the city.

Needless to say, maddening traffic jams and slow moving traffic has become an everyday affair in Bangalore. Blame it on anything or anybody; the fact is that there is definitely no escape from it. So my dear Bangaloreans let us look at the brighter side. While struck in a traffic jam, I've realized that there are many useful chores that one can do. Call it time management or ways to kill frustration, I have tried them all!

To start with, check for those unread messages and missed calls on that electronic gadget of yours, and this is the right time to reply and call back your acquaintances. Forgetful souls like me can make reminder notes on the E-calender, setting alarm for those special occasions and important dates. If you belong to the category who religiously follow a 'thing to do' list, then there is no time like this to plan your schedule for the day, week, weekend, etc, depending on the time in hand.

If you are done with all that, give that mobile phone a break and take a vigilant look around. You can update yourself with the latest gadgets, trends, unending models of bikes and cars that hit the roads and most importantly the shop and buildings which go un-noticed otherwise.

If you get tired of doing all and still have not moved a mile, sit straight, take a deep breath and relax! Nothing like it, if 'enigma' is playing in the background. Now start with some breathing exercise. Not only does it help keep your cool but will also make good for the day's quota of exercise. Turn around and you can see many curious faces wanting to know 'what happened?' I mean why the jam? A smile and then an enquiry, which may conclude with a conversation. Who knows you may even end up making a friend. The list of chores is inexhaustible. You can add on, keeping in view your requirement and conveniences.

I envy those who are chauffer driven. After having a quick bite, perusing every bit of news in the Newspaper, getting ready with their presentations on the laptop, and checking the inbox, they can even afford to take a nap at the cost of the driver's annoyance. I consider the commuters in bus more fortunate as they have an option to alight and walk down, provided the bikers spare the footpath for pedestrians.

Honestly, the idea of writing this Article hit me while I was a victim of one such jam the other day at J.C. Road when I took 120 minutes to cover a distance of 9 kilometers! Now, don't you really see the brighter side?