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Forgive, But Please Do Not Forget

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/not-forgetting-your-role-helps-you-to-deal-with-future-relationships-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

Forgive, But Please Do Not Forget

When you forgive someone it is not at all necessary to convey it to the person concerned. At times it is better if you don’t. That is where the title of this write-up comes from. If you tell him that you have forgiven him and hold no grudges, he may take advantage of you again – and this time it may be even more painful. So just forgive ...... and do not forget what he has done to you. The memories anyway will not go away. Remembering things is a difficult task, but consciously forgetting something is almost impossible. So keep it at the back of your mind. The person who had borrowed money from you and had not only not returned it, but had spread ugly rumours about you ..... when he comes next asking for a loan, just smile and walk off. Never forget that he is unreliable in money matters. But rise above hating him, wanting to hurt him, or feeling frustrated that he took away your money. Spend the same energy making more money, acquiring better friends, and in general enjoying life more.

One factor that helps in forgiving is also to not forget what your role was in the sequence of events. Did you give the person the impression that he can borrow money from you whenever he wants? Did you love someone so much that you made yourself vulnerable to attack from him? Not forgetting your role helps you to deal with future relationships, tricky interpersonal situations, and various transactions you may have to be part of as life moves on.

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