“Sibling Rivalry”

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/managing-conflict-between-your-children-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

Some tips on managing conflict between your children

  • If your older child starts imitating the baby, do not make  fun or punish him. Praise him when he acts "grown up" and give him  a chance to be a "big brother". It should not take long for him  to see that he gets more attention by acting his age than by  acting like a baby.
  • Do not compare your children in front of them. It is natural to notice differences between your children. Just try not to comment on  these in front of them. It is easy for a child to think  that he  is  not as good or as loved as his sibling when  you  compare them.  Remember each child is a special individual. Let each  one know that.
  • As much as possible, stay out of your children's arguments. You may have to step in and settle a spat between toddlers  or  pre-schoolers. For example, if they are arguing  over  blocks,  you might need to split the blocks into piles for each of them. Older children  will  probably settle an argument  peacefully  if  left alone. If your children try to involve you, explain that they are both  responsible for creating the problem and for ending it.  Do not take sides. Set guidelines on how your children can disagree and resolve their conflicts. Of course, you must get involved  if the situation gets violent. Make sure your children know that you will not stand for such behaviour. Praise your children when they solve their arguments and reward good behaviour.
  • Be fair. Divide the household chores fairly. Make a  "no  tattling"  rule. Give children privileges that are right  for  their ages and try to be consistent.
  • Respect your child's privacy. When it is necessary to punish or scold, do it with the child alone in a quiet, private place.
  • Use regular family meetings for all family members to  express their thoughts  and  feelings, as well as  to  plan  the  week's events. Give positive recognition and rewards.
  • Sibling relationships are very special. We form  our  earliest bonds with our brothers and sisters. No one else shares the  same family history. By helping your children learn to value, love and respect  their siblings, you are giving them a great  gift --  the gift of a life long friend.

    About the author

    This website was initially conceived and designed by the late Sitaram N
    Copyright © 2017 www.banjaraacademy.org. Creative Commons License
    Except where otherwise noted, the Content of the Website of Banjara Academy - the text, the audios, the videos, the images - contributed by Dr Ali Khwaja and his team of volunteers at Banjara Academy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.