Let's Share Emotions, Thoughts


Depression - The Monster in My Mind

Author: Sheetal Suryavanshi

Perma-link for article: https://www.banjaraacademy.org/depression-the-monster-in-my-mind-by-sheetal-suryavanshi

Sheetal Suryavanshi

My experience of battling with a monster in my mind! And being back to be stronger than ever!

The past one year has not been easy. It started off by me giving up my job last November (2016) for reasons unknown. It was a place I enjoyed going for work every day. I had found another job, but the day I was supposed to join those people never responded to my call. I laughed at this and told myself I am sure something good is in store for me. I decided to take a break for a month and explore opportunities in the social development sector the following month.

A month later, i.e in January this year, I took up an assignment with an NGO. The project was for a period of 45 days. I was super enthusiastic about the project. As I started working on the project I was disappointed the way the funds were misused/tweaked. I was shocked and demotivated to the core. I wanted to quit in between but as I had committed to them I continued and exited without taking my consulting fee.

This experience didn’t stop me from taking up another assignment. I started off in middle of February but three days of working there led to another disheartening experience. I decided that I would volunteer with NGOs instead of taking up paid assignments due to the recent displeasing experiences.

During this phase I had slipped into depression which I realised only much later. I was socially withdrawn, cut off from my besties and for no reason I use to feel very low. And it use to be the lowest feeling I had felt in my life. Initially I use to wonder, Why? What is wrong with me?

I thought maybe I have gained a few pounds hence I am feeling sluggish. I started working out in the gym but the feeling of emptiness had reached its core. I wanted to meet Ali (Founder of Banjara academy) in March but couldn’t go. I would want to message him but the next second something would stop me from doing it.

I got into hibernation and an overwhelming wave of emptiness had taken over me. I was not in a mood to think, feel or do anything. I use to pick up calls/meet people only whenever I felt like. And during the conversations I had to pinch myself to listen to them as I used to go blank. I was just functioning from the outside, but dead from inside. The worst experience was when a bunch of new students enrolled for our softball programme (summer camp). I never reacted. I use to be a person who was super enthusiastic when children enrolled, but this year had zero emotions. I did take them to buy gears but here again there was a feeling of emptiness.

After a couple of weeks, I decided that I had enough and wanted to work on this. I thought I will get my thyroid test done as sudden weight gain was bothering me a lot. Not that I had gained tons of kilos it was just three to four but these extra pounds did bother me. I met my family doctor (last week of April) and I told him I need to do a thyroid test as I have been gaining weight all of a sudden.

I was diagnosed for hypothyroidism, though it was only marginally high. My doctor looked at me and said no medication is needed. Instead he advised me to work on my depression and do vigorous exercise. And if need be, he advised to take a course of homeopathic medication. I felt nice when my doctor told me to work on my depression, as whenever I had mentioned about this state to people the response used to be ‘you are a sports person and a strong girl. And depression exists only in the west.’ My thoughts on this: sports people are humans too and do have emotions. Secondly, depression can happen to anybody irrespective of the continents they live in.

I messaged my reports to my bestie Kaddi (Lakshmi) and my first cousin Ashwin. I always message these two as they are no less than doctors. It is just that they don’t have a degree in medicine but are very knowledgeable about the subject. Both of them advised to go ahead with homeo medication. The first thing my cousin mentioned was work on your depression. I was like ‘not bad, another person agrees with my feeling of sadness.’

I was confused and not sure whether to start off on homeo as I wanted to avoid medication. I got it from the bestie when I told her. She responded by saying if you want to complicate things and slip into depression go ahead. I wanted to tell her I have already slipped into depression but didn’t as I knew she would get worried. I went ahead and met a homeopathy doctor and am on medication currently.

This phase of my life was indeed challenging. I was diagnosed for osteoporosis 12 years ago I had laughed about it and had told my doctor – ‘Yeah! I will be an iron woman. I will have steel/iron rods in my body instead of bones :-p.’ This humourous attitude was missing in me. The monster (depression) was eating me up from inside out.

I fought very, very, hard with the monster in my mind and didn’t allow it to stop me from texting Ali. As always, I received an immediate response and met him the next day.

I love it when Ali gives me time and listens to me. I shared my experience starting from November till May. He listened to me patiently and also looked at my reports. He gave me a test to do and told me that he will send me an email. I received an email from Ali, where he had set goals for me. I decided to work towards the same.

I had isolated myself and I knew nothing would go wrong if I cut off from people. I use to find it difficult to make or return phone calls, texts and emails. I use to makes excuses for not attending social functions/meeting friends. My friends respected this space of mine and kept away. I started working towards the goals set by Ali. I used be fine for two or three days but on the fourth day I used to slip back into the emptiness state.

During this phase I did attend one interview which was a horrifying experience. Guess, it was horrifying for me as I was vulnerable and couldn’t take nonsense. I called a friend (Ashish) and broke down. He listened to me and gave me a dose of positivity. I came back home and did some introspection. I realised that I am not in my real self which had caused an emotional turmoil. I decided not take up any assignment until I got rid of the monster in my head.

I used to dislike it when people use to ask me – ‘Oh!You are not earning? You don’t have a job?’ They used to look at me as if I have committed a crime. Well,people,will be people. So,I let it be. But none realised that I was fighting a terrible battle.

I use to go through a constant battle with the monster in my mind for months. They say depression is soul-stealing but I feel it is much more than this. I tried working really hard but the monster used to let me be myself once in a while but also drag me back into the emptiness state. I was aware that the only person who could truly help me was “Me”. I was clear that I had to rediscover myself.

I was talking to my good friend (Dileep V) and he told me to pack your bags and go to Paris :D. I laughed and told him: not a bad idea but can’t afford Paris now. That minute I realised that I had laughed whole heartedly. It was a genuine laugh, and I was not faking. I was experiencing this emotion after several months. I knew that travel is the weapon to kill the monster in my mind.

I have always enjoyed my solo trips and wanted to backpack and just go. Though the monster in my mind was creating a fear and stopping me from planning a solo trip. My ex-colleague and a good friend, Saurabh Somani, used to address me as “Terror” in office. I was reminded of this and was like, ”Oh!What I am doing to myself? I used to be a fearless and an adventures person. I didn’t want the monster to take control of my life and kill this spirit.” And I instantly planned a hiking trip to Kashmir.

Jaanat-E-Kashmir did the magic. I terrorised and destroyed the monster in my mind in Kashmir and rediscovered myself: D. I was back with fresh perspective and energies.

I met Ali as soon as I got back from my trip as I wanted him to know that I had conquered myself.

This phase in my life has taught me great lessons and has made me stronger than ever before. Friedrich Nietzsche has rightly said, What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. I feel one should not feel sad/guilty while battling with mental health but be open, seek help and pull oneself out of depression. Let the universe know that it is okay to talk about mental health. And if talking about it brings faith and hope in people, Why not?

I would like to thank all my friends for respecting my isolation, giving me time and space to rediscover myself.

A heartfelt thanks to my friends – Kaushik, DV(Dileep V) and Ashish. Thanks a bunch for knowing exactly when to tell me what I want to hear, when I want to hear it the most.

Ali, Ali, Aliiiiii – What can I say? Words neither quantify nor qualify how helpful your guidance and support has been till date. I am blessed to have a mentor like you.



A Visit to a Village

Author: Ramaswamy N

Perma-link for article: https://www.banjaraacademy.org/a-visit-to-a-village-by-helping-hand-volunteer-counsellor-ramaswamy-n

24th Sunday morning got up, packed a little and drove about 60 kms., towards Ramanagara. Good sunshine with cold winds were inviting. As we were nearing Ramanagara, the ‘Stone hills’ around us reminded of Gabbar Singh, Are o’ Samba, Kaalia & Basanthi dialogues and songs echoed, as “Sholay” film was shot in one of those hills.

Galamma is a poor woman from a village near Ramanagara, lives with her son Venkappa (20yrs). She works as a coolie in the fields, after her husband died due to a fall from the coconut tree.

About a few years ago, the boy Venkappa used to pass urine 10 to 12 times in the night and get totally tired. Galamma got very much worried about her son, tried at two hospitals and finally was suggested to St. John hospital. We ran to St. John’s hospital, where the Doctor prescribed a “Nasal Drop” which stopped the problem. Boy was told to take it for ever and he uses it regularly.

Yesterday, we visited her village and spent an hour with them at her place. They have become our good friends, as we support his medicine every 20 days. Galamma was very happy for we could answer her long pending invitation. Sunday was spent around Greenery and Fresh air.



The Number Craze

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/the-number-craze-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

I often wonder why numbers are so important to us: businessmen want more customers, multinationals set ambitious yearly targets, religious gurus want more and more followers, ordinary people want more friends on Facebook – in fact we patronize those who have large number of people accepting someone. Even with a religious Guru I have heard people say, “you know, thousands come to listen to him.” I would love to listen to someone who has the time and patience to talk to me alone. I am very happy if two people read this little write-up of mine, and I am grateful if one genuine friend sends me a greeting. In fact I feel the lesser the number of people greater is the personal touch, the individuality and the warmth. But perhaps I am a small minority who thinks that way (see, numbers again!)

About the author



Horsley Hills - The Charming Little
Hill Station

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/horsley-hills-the-charming-little-hill-station-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

Horsley Hills - The Charming Little Hill Station

Barely three hours of smooth drive from Bangalore, via Hoskote, you enter Andhra Pradesh and the small town of Madanapalli (of Rishi Valley fame). A slight inconvenience of narrow market roads, and once you are beyond the town, you can stop a little beyond to admire and buy some clay artifacts made by craftsmen in the small villages along the way. Another half hour, and you turn left, stop at the junction if you wish for a cup of tea at the thatched roof restaurants on the corner, and you are climbing the not-so-steep hill road after paying a nominal entry fee for the hill station.

Unlike most other ghats you barely feel the journey and before you know it you have entered the tiny resort called Horsley Hills. On inquiry some people said the name was derived from horses. Even the craftsmen below the hill sell different types of clay horses on the roadside. I carried my skeptical mind to the office of the Andhra Pradesh State Tourism Corporation – and found the answer most unexpectedly. There is small enclosure, almost unnoticeable, with a granite slab covering a grave, and the inscription that the hill station was founded by the then Collector of the District, Mr. W. H. Horsley. The lack of attention to this great soul is confirmed by the fact that his tombstone has a plaque mentioning the same date and year of his birth and his death!

Those seeking a sprawling luxurious hill station will be in for a disappointment, for the entire place is so tiny you can walk around it in fifteen minutes. No lake for boating, no sprawling gardens, no shopping mall, no spas and resorts, no fancy games or luxury restaurants. But what it misses out in luxuries, it makes up in abundant nature. Almost any point in the hill offers breathtaking views of the plains below. There is even a spot from where one can see a natural ridge formation that looks like a map of India!

Yes, there is a swimming pool, and there is also a small nature health facility, which includes getting your feet nibbled by tiny fishes who can take away the dead skin and tiredness from your limbs – at prices which are a fraction of what you would pay in a fancy resort. There is a stately Governor’s Bungalow with its own beautiful canopy at the edge with a lovely view, and it is open to public. Food is restricted, particularly off-season, and you have to make do with the meals served there.

The Andhra Pradesh Tourism Corporation offers large rooms in colonial bungalows and cottages which have been renovated with modern fittings and are fairly well maintained. For those willing to pay higher rates, there is a private Holiday Resort offering a little more luxury.

Almost unnoticeable is a little zoo with a spattering of crocodiles, fishes, birds and assorted animals. Of course the monkeys roam free all over the hill un-caged.There is a very quaint Guest House of the Forest Department inside the zoo, but obviously you need governmental contacts to stay there. As expected, there is a small temple for the spiritual minded, and near it are a couple of tea stalls that offer chairs in their courtyards, and if you are lucky they may be willing to serve you rotis and chicken depending on the crowd on that day.

Though Horsley Hills becomes quite warm and uncomfortable in the summer, a visit from November to January, when the rain has brought back the lush greenery all around and the mercury has dropped, is quite fulfilling. In fact you may need to wear a sweater even during daytime walks. The real pleasure of such tiny resorts is to go there off-season when the day-time visitors come and go by sunset, and you find the entire place calm, quiet and serene, surrendering itself to the sounds and smells of unadulterated nature and you can take leisurely after-dinner walks in the hazy moonlight. When the rush of human beings recedes nature teaches you to live life at its own slow and measured pace.

About the author



Is It Bad To Be Curious About Others?

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/is-it-bad-to-be-curious-about-others-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

My grandfather taught me that it is bad to be curious or to poke your nose into other people’s lives. I have stuck to that principle. But surprisingly, I find more and more people who want others to be curious about them. It started with going on social media and telling the whole world your day-to-day activities, ‘status’, friends, what you ate, where you went etc. I think people are getting more lonely, hence they are craving for attention. They want others to know what is happening in their life, even if it is very mediocre, so that they feel important. But isn’t it better and sufficient to have just one or two important people in your life who genuinely care?

About the author



Dealing with Misunderstandings

Author: Raju Thomas

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/dealing-with-misunderstandings-by-author-raju-thomas

Misunderstandings are happenings which can play havoc in a relationship, and may even result in some irreparable consequences. People tend to perceive everything coming from outside through the filter of their personalities or as per the pattern of their belief systems programmed in their minds. This includes interactions and inter personal communications which can sometimes create misunderstandings. There is always a gap, however small, between what one person says, and what the listener takes it to mean. There can be a number of reasons for this. It is not only because of the literal meaning of the spoken words, but can also be due to the manner in which it is said. The same sentence can have different meanings depending upon the tone in which it is said. For example a simple question like “ What do you mean by that ? “ can either be a question expressing a genuine doubt, or an angry retort, depending on the tone in which it is conveyed, and also the accompanying body language.

Misunderstandings in inter personal communications can be due to a number of factors, such as :

  • Having a biased view or a preconceived notion about one another
  • Not listening to each other with full attention and with an open mind
  • Jumping to conclusions without considering all the factors involved
  • Tending to generalize based on an earlier interaction

While it is easy to fall into the trap of misunderstandings, it can also be prevented with a little care and mindful attention to the factors mentioned above. When one is not very clear about what is being said, it is advisable to ask for a confirmation by the listener reframing the speaker’s words. Sometimes something which is unsaid may be as important, if not more, as the spoken words. The listener could then try to read the thoughts or at least try to guess what is going on in the mind of the speaker. Of course, one should always respond only after letting the speaker complete whatever is being conveyed, instead of just reacting without understanding the real meaning of the words. Sometimes they may not agree with whatever is under discussion. But both the parties can then agree to disagree without any ill will or rancour to one another. There will be much less chance of any misunderstandings if we follow what I can call as the HAIL approach, that is , cultivating a spirit of Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love, in our interactions.



In Praise of Egoism

Author: Raju Thomas

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People behave in all kinds of ways, and all behaviour is basically self directed as well as driven by self motivation , whether one is conscious of it or not. Egoistic behaviour is no different , and in some respects it is similar to intuitive behavior. Actions taken intuitively are often found to be the right choice when faced with difficult decisions. Though the source of our intuitions is not quite clear to us and the phenomena is not well understood, there is no denying that such sudden insights coming to us always works in our self interest.

There can be two types of egoistic behaviour whenever it is the result of conscious thoughts and actions taken based on them. In one case, the actions will either not have any negative impact on the interest of others, or even be beneficial to them. In the second case, such a behaviour could have an adverse impact on others’ interests. These could be termed as positive and negative types of egoistic behaviours. It is the positive type of egoism which is very much justifiable and praise worthy. If each and every individual upholds and practices egoism in this manner, it can only benefit the society at large. Such an approach is also line with the theory propounded by Adam Smith, who is considered as the father of modern economics, in his classical treatise “Wealth of Nations“. According to him, if every business enterprise concentrated on improving their own profitability in a free market environment, the economy as a whole stands to benefit.

Egoism as a personality trait could have its roots both from genetic factors, as well as from nurturing experiences during early childhood. Whether such egoistic tendencies develop into a positive or negative type of behaviour could again be due to certain major life experiences faced by the individual, actions taken and the resulting outcomes. Further experiences in life will only tend to strengthen the chosen path.

What then are the characteristics of an egoist ? He is no doubt self centered, but is also deeply in touch with his inner self ( masculine pronoun used only for convenience, egoism has no gender bias ). He is fully conscious of his strengths, weaknesses, feelings and emotions, and takes pride in all that makes him a unique individual. He certainly looks after himself as best as possible. But that doesn’t and need not prevent him from extending help to all those who deserve it , since only by loving himself, he is in a better position to understand the emotions of love, compassion and empathy towards others.

With self acceptance and knowing the truth about oneself, an egoist will be able to lead his life with authenticity - his thoughts, speech, facial expressions and actions always being a reflection of his true inner self. In conclusion, a true egoist, according to me, is a person who takes pride in himself and his capabilities, is assertive in his views, and faces life with self esteem , self confidence and with a steadfast conviction and commitment to all that he believes in. Such are the attributes of a true egoist which are worthy of appreciation and, yes, even emulation.



A Challenge to Eternity!

Author: Raju Thomas

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/a-challenge-to-eternity-by-author-raju-thomas

Who am I ? Where do I come from ?
An enigma pondered over by many a soul
Coming from nowhere , going nowhere
Nothing and no one dares to stop my unstoppable journey.


Life an attribute of everything
That which takes a birth
Must one day meet its end
Even this very Universe of ours
But not me , I am immortal
I have no beginning and no end.


I just go on and on forever
Passing through all things , animate and inanimate
Like they were just vacuous nothingness
But my unmistakable , indelible imprint on them I leave behind.


A resource most valuable am I
For whom realization strikes
About my versatile qualities
With equanimous impartiality
I offer myself to one and all in equal measures
To use it wisely , or loose it forever.


Though many a mortal soul
Expending their efforts studying me
And written volumes about managing me
Yet I remain the same , unaffected by all their elaborate theories.


My journey progresses at my own pace
Fast or slow my apparent motion appear on human minds
Battling with so many emotional upheavals
Untold pain and suffering I can bring on
Or joy , health and happiness
Depending on how I am used.


So who am I ?
I am that indestructible entity
The Lord of all , the Almighty TIME , aka ETERNITY.


But wait , do I hear something ?
A meek voice challenging me
Coming from the outer fringes of my borderless expanse
Be not so proud , Oh , Eternity , it says
Though I am not so independent as you
For I am dependent on human beings for survival.


Actually like a shell am I
Made up of WORDS , mostly written , layers and layers of them
Encapsulating thoughts , ideas and memories
Of people who ever have lived
And I will continue to live forever
As long as people and their thoughts survive on this planet of ours.


As fresh ideas and thoughts crystallizing as memories
Taking shape , layer upon layer , on this body of mine
Yes , I am also indestructible like you
Though I concede my humble nature
Needing mortal beings to give me my life
I too can proudly hold my head aloft
Happy with my efforts , enriching the lives of so many.


I , the TIME , do acknowledge your precious gifts
You , the WORDS , full of thoughts and memories
You are indeed the voice of mankind
And will forever remain , giving me company.



Hold me tight, Put me down, Leave me alone

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/hold-me-tight-put-me-down-leave-me-alone-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

Someone nicely said that a child goes through three stages before he reaches adulthood: “Hold me tight, Put me down, Leave me alone.” Babies want to be held, toddlers want to be put down and explore on their own, and teenagers just want to be left alone! I was thinking that often this happens in love relationships also – the honeymoon phase (hold me tight), then wanting some space and independence (Put me Down, or ‘Let me Do it My Way’), and unfortunately in many cases if the relationship has not been nurtured over time, it becomes ‘Leave me Alone’.

Hold me tight, Put me down, Leave me alone

At the intellectual level we know that this could happen both to children and to our partners – but do we work on it practically, try to bring about better bonding? If we can anticipate that this is a natural progression of a relationship, there is a lot we can do to improve on it, and keep the warmth and togetherness alive. Becoming aware of the individuality of the other person, ensuring that we do not develop emotional dependency, resisting the desire to control – are some of the lessons we need to learn.

Regardless of which stage you or your child is in, do work on it. We should aim for a situation where our loved ones always love to be held tight by us. It takes some hard work, sacrifice, compromise, but it works in the long run.

About the author



Producing More Idiots?

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/producing-more-idiots

A senior professor quoted in a reputed academic journal:

“Scheduled Tribes (ST) refers to such tribes or tribal communities or parts of or groups within such tribes or tribal communities, who are scheduled in accordance with Article 342 of the Consitution as are deemed under Article 342 to be Scheduled Tribes for the purposes of this Constitution.”

Do you remember the definition of ‘machine’ by Amir Khan in 3-Idiots? No wonder our educational institutions are not bringing out the best in our very talented students.

The same universities journal had another gem. Please translate into English and tell us what it means:

“Throughout life we are in quest of peace which is the state of full immersion and bliss. The reflections begin with evident and real dichotomy and its resolution. The validity of the cause and effect relationship knowledge has been questioned. An attempt has been made to find peace through symbiosis, education, sacrifice, resilience, giving and forgiving, unconditional love and affection becoming and de-becoming, justice, happiness, laughter and tears, search and research. An illustration has been made on Pig Predators and savor and some poems presented to revive peace.”



Stay Relevant, Stay Sure:

Taming the automation tiger

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/stay-relevant-stay-sure

On a random day these days if you open any newspaper or switch on any news channel the probability that you read or hear about any automation is very high. Along with that you are more likely to read or hear about the consequential jobs that will be lost and the growing threat of unemployment. This may seem overwhelmingly frightful scenario especially for entry level college graduates and post graduates. After all they are at the cusp of starting off their careers. It may seem like you are facing off with the all too powerful automation tiger.

What should one read into this kind of forecasts? I believe that things are much brighter than one would read into at first sight.

The fact of the matter is that as people prosper economically new industries come up and replace some others which vanish. Old jobs give way to new ones. Steno typist as a job opportunity has almost vanished but the opportunities to do such wonderful desktop publishing and design has created many, many jobs and made several entrepreneurs’ pockets jingle. When people prosper Leisure travel and tourism industry grows and creates more jobs. Fashion, lifestyle goods and luxury goods and so on are on the rise creating jobs associated with those sectors.

The message for college students and faculty is not to dread job shifts due to automation. I believe JOB SHIFT is a more appropriate word not JOB LOSSES. The students should be ready to learn and adapt to changing technologies and areas of work.

Various new jobs are arising in Analytics, AI, Regulatory and Compliance that did not even seem like attractive options earlier. Statistics and Econometrics which looked like doomsday options are today hot cakes.

The IT industry has seen several shifts. Mainframes, COBOL, and Fortran gave way to JAVA, .NET and other programming languages and today even those have matured and are on the decline. Digital programming languages, Big Data, Hadoop, Python are the new emerging fields to build careers in.

Same goes for the surgeon in today’s corporate type hospitals, the pilots in today’s hyper-competitive airline industry or the hairstylist of 2017.

The mantra is to be relevant by up-skilling, recasting the knowledge you have and unlearning the things that you so methodically mastered. To do this we are very fortunate today to have access to latest knowledge at our finger tips on our palms and in our pockets. Real time nano learning has made it possible to learn in small chunk as and when needed and the ability to connect the dots by adding the stuff just needed in the next installment of learning.

So the reassurance that one should stay with is that the automation tiger is not going to destroy jobs and people’s careers. It is only going to need you to be agile and stay relevant and that way we will be able to tame this tiger like we never thought before.

Condensed from article by Dr. Rajiv Noronha,VP and HR Head (Analytics and Insights) at TCS which was published as a part of the TCS AIP News Letter Vol. 12, April 2017.

Republished with permission.



Cry of the Youth

Author: Emma

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/cry-of-the-youth-author-emma

We are not sad,
We are not crying
But inside our restless bodies
Our hearts are dying


You will see us smile
Warmly in all places
But we are first monsters
Wearing human faces


We may not be perfect
We may not be smart
But there is beauty in what we do
For we are art


You cannot tie us up
You cannot keep us down
For we are kings and queens
We will claim our crown


We burn all our feelings
Except for hate
But don’t blame us for we are yours
We are what you made


We always live young
We always live fast
Because we are damaged
And running from our past


We are running from our innocence
Innocence is bad
Another entry to be added
To the traits that we had


We are the youth so feel our team spirit
Before you catch up and before you kill it.



Appa, the Daughter’s favorite

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/appa-the-daughters-favorite

Appa, Thandri, Nanna, Thande, Father, Pappa, Dad, Dada, Bapu and may other Names to call the father.

Fathers are generally inexpressive of their feelings be it any relationship; with great difficulty they would tell their wife. Father apparently looks tough by nature, but he does have deep feelings for his family and children. He has his responsibility to support his family to a secure future, he has to earn for them. He is focused on hanging on to his job and get pay packets month after month.

More than two decades the daughter lives with you, and you have missed all her happy moments. Then comes your responsibly of getting her married, society demands “when are you getting your daughter married?” The worm gets into your head and you start looking for the groom knowing that she will not be with you forever.

Father, with all his mixed feelings and emotions of happiness, anxiety, curiosity, nervousness etc, gets promoted as father in law. His all-time happiness has gone to somebody else.

What an irony, when she was yours, you were not with her, you missed all that happiness from her in shaping her future, and now she is not there, you cry for her.

If required any father will lay down his entire wealth or life in the interest of his daughter. If the daughter is happy, father has no bounds for his happiness, and if she is unhappy father will bleed in his eyes… because of his helplessness.

Request to the current day fathers: girl child is a true blessing, never feel unhappy that you are blessed with a boy child, it hardly matters, love the girl child the best you can… Remember she is a limited resource once she is married you have only the memories, and the bundle of pictures to look at with a small face on them. So the girl child is the precious one, care for her.

A Father



Ancient Aviator Anecdote

Life on the Edge

Author: Air Vice Marshal (AVM) Cecil Parker, MVC

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Seven decades ago the ancient aviators of today were young lads, many of whom were fascinated with the idea of flight and dreamt of becoming pilots some day. Pre-Independence, very few Indians were in the profession of aviation. In those days most parents considered ‘flying’ as a dangerous occupation that kept one living on the edge. However, unforeseen events often influence mind-sets and a sudden medical crises in our family brought about a re-think on the part of my father and co-incidental consequences for me.

In 1946, as a young teen-aged school boarder, I came home for the summer holidays running a low fever. As the temperature kept rising and I went off food, our family doctor recommended immediate hospitalization. I was admitted into the PG hospital in Calcutta/Kolkata where my condition continued to worsen. I grew listless and responded to no treatment. My condition got critical and the hospital prepared my parents for the worst; in fact, I was measured for a coffin.

Suddenly my fever broke, I opened my eyes and felt weak but better, I had no idea that 22 days had elapsed but I slowly regained strength sat up in bed and kept down fluids. A very cheerful doctor, along with the ward nurse, visited me frequently and assured me that I was going to be fine but away from school for a few months till I recovered fully. He told my parents that he had no explanation for my ‘return from the edge’, did not believe in miracles but had just seen on.

Five years later, with the active support of my mother and the reluctant consent of my father, I found myself a flight cadet in Air Force Academy in Secunderabad. At a social function I was introduced to a pretty young lady teacher with the same surname as the doctor. In fact she was his niece and informed me that her uncle had married the nurse and the couple had immigrated to Australia. I courted the young lady for five years before we married in 1956. In the next 30 years we moved 15 times on postings while she adapted and coped with running a house, raising two wonderful children, kept teaching, carried out all her commitments as an air force wife and stood by me through all the ups and downs of life on the edge. It was many years before we could build a house of own to retire in. Now, in the 62nd year of our marriage, she is busy overseeing the travel arrangements for our next trip abroad to be present at the wedding of the first of our six grandchildren who are spread over three continents both sides of the equator. Notwithstanding the risk element in any fighter pilot’s career, ‘life on the edge’ has been very good to this ancient aviator and his family.

The author is a retired air vice marshal of the IAF and a freelance writer who can be contacted at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it


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