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Gender Related Jealousy

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

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While one cannot generalize human behavior, there are certain aspects of jealousy that are typical of men and women. Men have an innate fear of infidelity of their partner, that the partner will cheat on him. Women, on the other hand, often have fear of abandonment. Either of these feelings can lead to jealousy. In fact, it is said that jealousy in man-woman relationships is the most common reasons for murder or highly violent episodes. It is said that even judges fear the torrent of violence that gets unleashed in divorce cases where jealousy is involved.

There is another interesting aspect of gender related jealousy. Consider this example: A handsome young friend of mine teaches adult girls. One student of his become unduly attached to him, and started showering him with all her love and affection. But at the same time, she started making it clear to him that he should not encourage the other students to get close to him, because she feels jealous. He laughed at her and said, “if at all you want to feel jealous, you should feel jealous of my wife. She is much closer to me, and I love her.” The girl was clear in her views “No, sir”, she said “your wife occupies a different dimension in your life, and I am not competing for it. But I cannot tolerate the other girls getting friendly with you.” Men readers – try to decipher that one!

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