Anger Management

Date: 11 May 2012

Surekha mentioned that anger is a choice of self, a learnt reaction. It reflects lack of control on emotions, on behavior and on patience. We get angry because people are not what we expect them to be. It is a double edge sword. Anger is directed both inward and outward but, there is another option of not being angry at all. Anger is a result of our thinking and is created by us. Managing anger is learning to think for self-empowerment. Learn to hold on for some time, learn to love yourself, learn to confront yourself that you will be happy. Beware of present – Pause- Choose what to do? - Humour are few of the ways to handle anger.

Staring angrily
Image Credit: RLHyde, cc-by-sa-2.0,

Yogita was of the view that the more you control anger the more ferocious it will become. The better option is to Manage Anger. Anger is one of the basic emotions and is displayed through words, tone and your body language. Having patience, understanding situations, accepting people the way they are and being assertive helps in managing anger.

Malini said that there are basically two types of anger:
1. Righteous Anger
2. Unreasonable Anger

A person can get eaten up by anger as a rotten apple. The apple loses its core due to an insect or worm though the outside is fairly okay.

When you are angry your vocabulary become excellent and you use words that you never dreamed to have in your store. Non learning to handle the irritants in life and not being assertive are great barrier for Anger Management.

Rakshita shared her experience of anger and frustration. The lack freedom to make her own choice with growing age and changing exposure were some of the reason for her frustration that she used to vent out through blasting people she comes to interact.

Ram was of the opinion that anger is a necessary evil. Without anger something cannot be achieved. Mahatma Gandhi got angry and lead to India’s Independence. Anna Hazare is angry and something is changing for positivity. The cause of anger may be different. Anger cannot be managed without working on its roots and cutting the trunk is not the solution. Being positively angry and carrying the anger is the way to manage anger.

Sudha treats anger as a process to learn a lesson. Learnt the value of patience and taught the same to her children. Assertiveness helped her to handle the things better.

Upset and Angry
Image Credit: I_Am_Wulf, cc-by-2.0,

Yashoda feels anger is lack of self-awareness. How to handle it is a choice you have to make. Pause before reacting helps Anger Management.

Sachin told that anger is a manifestation of our feeling when things don’t go the way we want it to happen. At times anger is deliberate expression to get control or mask fear. There are various ways to release the pressure it generates inside. Hydraulic pressure vent as tears, pneumatic pressure vent as shouting, mechanical pressure vent of punching. The neuro and biological effect of ache, BP, cancer, ulcer ….. are the result of the failure of Self Anger Management System.

The way you initiate anger management process depends on how you take it. It can be taken as a motivator or destroyer. The time gap between the stimulus and the bouncing we do is a very important resource to deliberate our preference of response over reaction for better Anger Management. You have to keep your own remote with you and never allow it to be operated by others for managing yourself.

Noothan made it clear that we are angry when our expectations are not met. It is a pent-up emotion.

Self-underestimation, low self–esteem generates fear that precipitates in anger. Anger is used for self-protection or self-pity. Retained anger is more dangerous and should be allowed to end fast similar to burning of paper whose effect ends fast than wood that keeps burning slowly.

Controlled emotion can cause visual nerves. We have to work on the root cause of anger as treating the symptoms will not cure it.

Sharada had no time to ponder over anger during her busy professional life as she was always at the receiving end. Through her experience, now she realizes that self-awareness and understanding the other person’s perspective can definitely improve anger management and also helps in improving inter personal relationship.

Nalini experienced calm and turbulent atmosphere towards exposure to anger. ‘Saying sorry when you really feel sorry’ takes away lot of your emotional pent-up and helps in anger management.

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