Jaagruthi Counsellors Forum

Letting Go

Date: 10 August 2012

Gautami was of the view that we want to let go so many things - Anger, Pain. It is like we don’t laugh at the same joke again and again. We must let the sorrow also to go.

  • This allows self to go free
  • If, there are issues talk to a person who listens
  • Look back and think if everything is done by me only

Forgiveness is difficult to practice in the beginning but through practice it becomes easier. She felt that those people are quite blessed who can let go things and wished to reach that level someday.

The doctor in Jacob's Ladder says this, misquoting/interpretting Meister Eckhart:
"The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. If you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth."
Let go the grip
Image Credit: JasonLangheine, cc-by-sa-2.0, flickr.com

Sudha felt that it is easy to advice people but, difficult to do it. With responsibilities of children, fear of future it becomes easier to let go. Trauma brings out self-confidence. Fight with respect attracts respect from people. Grief of losing people who are close is difficult to let go but with time the intensity comes down.

Priti said that letting go of children at right time is needed for continuance of a harmonious relationship. Dominating parents who do not let go their children even after marriage jeopardize their own relationship with the in-laws.

Ashwani shared that when her son left for US for higher studies, letting go was difficult. Let Go starts from the womb - it is a new beginning. You need to learn to have the ability to let go, if you want to be happy. Let go is a journey that widens one’s experience.

Dr. Mariamma told that losing the sense of belongingness and accepting the issues as they come helped her learn the letting go as mother-in-law. Mentally listening to things and ignoring the negatives helps you to remain composed.

Ram was of the opinion that let go is a new beginning. Having different background of partners and involvement of people around makes the married life more complicated and difficult to manage without let go. If you are unable to let go others at least let go self. Learning meditation, practicing it and with experience situation improves that leads a long and happy married life.

In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today? - Mary Manin Morrissey
Let go past
Image Credit: Capture Queen, cc-by-2.0, flickr.com

Malini told that introspecting bonding, faith in self and always being in peace helps let go. Having patience brings back the love. Worst pain is to let go a relationship.

Padma shared her happy and ambitious childhood for being the single daughter of the family, staying away, getting married had its own pain and was difficult to let go. Accepting the facts and with the reducing intensity of the pain with time makes letting go easy.

Alpa who has an easy going attitude lets go things easily. She believes in Jain ‘Karma Theory’ of Forgive and Forget. The observance of a forgiveness day when one forgives others and asks forgiveness from others for self helps attaining mental peace. Not hurting anyone with ‘Mana- Vachan –Karma’ and the mind set of forgiveness easens letting go. The habit of every night prayer of forgiveness gives feeling of lightness.

Ajay expressed his desire to learn the art of let go as he feels it very important for maintaining happiness.

Sri Rajeshwari felt that letting go the loved ones is very difficult. People have to let go for their own good. Accepting the facts is the only way to let go. Coping with death is very very difficult when one is not able to move ahead and feels orphaned. Accepting, forgiving, and being aware of the thoughts, exploring and engaging in volunteering work are few of the tips that she gave for facilitating let go.

Image Credit: UnspokenRomance, cc-by-2.0, flickr.com

Nirmala learnt to be a role model of mother-in-law after her son’s marriage and got on with life. Letting go was very easy for her after she attended the lecture classes of Bhagvat Geeta. She feels that she is not able to let go completely but after she has been able to identify them it was easy for her to manage it.

Padmaja told that none are able to empty and let go everything. A father never let go the care giving of children. Empowering the self, managing expectations and learning forgiveness takes off a lot of burden from the chest.

Pramila was very clear that when you realize that you are the owner and you have the power to do it, it is easy to make a choice of keeping a thought or leaving it. This eases the process of let go.

Nalini had the idea that super sensitivity and social issues can be handled with experience. “So what?” and I don’t care attitude like children allows you to take things easy and let go easier.

Noothan gave an example of burning paper that is fast and complete but, a log keeps burning slowly. Carrying trauma is like clogged drain that becomes stinking. Holding on to it and not letting go can develop health issues like migraine and headache.

Letting go is hard, but remember holding on is harder.
Let go memories
Image Credit: Only Sequel, cc-by-2.0, flickr.com

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