Jaagruthi Counsellors Forum

Coping With My Worries

Views of various counsellors presented here.

---Worry is a normal thing. I used to worry a lot. Was angry with everyone and did not know how to manage it? Too many patients in the house always very tired physically and mentally. Started observing own mistakes and After exposure to learning on counseling started observing own mistakes and learnt that accepting thing as they are is the mantra of managing my worries. Started applying ‘The Thought Stopping Technique’ that worked well with me. Learnt not to take or carry things in mind and always look for finding solutions. Breathing exercise helped in strengthening ability of focused thinking and helped in finding solutions. Identifying own emotions - why and what? - eased finding cause and thus better worry management.

---Over a period of time learnt

Acceptance of existence of worry.
Not to suppress – not to reject worry
Analyze why I am worried?
List down the options- why I am worried?
Reasoning out – take things I value.
Don’t make your worry infectious and keep it with you and work on finding solutions
Focus on my health, relationship with kids, counseling relationship etc Working on all these helped to face worry and manage worry.

---Experience has taught that with calm nothing happens. It is the worry which makes people to do anything. If you have difficulties take it as a problem and find solutions. By sending positive vibes you empower people to come out of difficulties and be peaceful.

---Worry is something that can only be managed, it cannot be eliminated. If worried about children behavior it is better to talk to them and clearly that it is bothering you so that they can improve.

The more she feels about worry thoughts the more it bothers. Worry transfers negative energy. When husband is worried, she is worried and does not know how to manage? In close relationship you need to express your worry. The uncertainties worry her. She will come out of a worrying situation and another will come in. The exercise is ongoing. Worry prepares her for tomorrow. Spirituality, Positive vibes-Prayer- Counseling helps in managing worry.

---A very popular song ‘mere photo ko seene se yaar Chipka le saiyan Fevicol se’ tells a lot about worry management. The stickier is the glue the firmer is the adhesion. Worry management is all about managing the stickiness strength of the glue. Stronger we embrace our thoughts worrier we become. If adhesiveness is the default setting of thoughts let it be as ‘Post it’. No worry about the glue, detached easily and at times with not realizing the stickiness. Ati sarvatra varjayet ! (Excess of any thing is bad!). Though worry is important to an extent for being active it’s excess that starts imposing sanctions on individual’s activity needs management. Treat worrying thought as unwanted guest in your house, give no importance and it will leave. The more importance and attention given to worrying thought is an open invitation that we only extend. Having clarity on what it can lead to , taking a decision to take a stand and being assertive to what meets your values have helped me in managing worries to large extent. Chanting (maintaining rhythm and speed) and thought replacement techniques have greatly helped overcoming worrying thought impact.

---When daughter was born with abnormality we were quite worried. My faith in Goddess Durga helped to overcome my worry. When there was a total surrender to the Devine Power, sense of peace came to me. The situation did not change but there was peace within. Later on with the best medical intervention things became normal, a blessing of Maa Durga.

---Huge trees have withstood the onslaught of sun, rain, storm succumb to white ants and collapse. Worry works as white ants in case of people who collapse unless they take care of these termites.

Problems are from our believe that our negative thoughts are true
Too much thinking is not right. Stop worrying and start doing.
Thinking of the worst and then thinking of the alternatives
Worry is like salt – enough is okay, too much is not good.
Overcoming worry requires love to bear and commitment to manage.

---‘EGO’- Edging God Over. By worrying we are denying God’s plan. It is important to know your limitation. Let us not play with God. Positive affirmation and leaving the outcome to God helps in overcoming worries.

---Worries are passing clouds. Worry is good when constructive worry is bad when destructive. Destructive worry creates stress and need to be managed. Hurry-Worry-Curry leads to diabetes.

---Being silent observer as third party of what is happening to you promotes rationalized thinking and helps in seeing the reality objectively. Taking to wife believe in Sai Baba and positive surroundings helped in managing worry.

---Worry is universal for everybody and solutions have to be found to come out of it.


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