Think About It
What is Counselling? What does a Counsellor do for you? What are the qualities of a Counsellor?
We all have ups and downs in life. Most of the time we can handle difficult situations. Sometimes we cannot handle them alone, and we seek the help of family or friends. Sometimes we even get unexpected help from strangers, and overcome the hurdles. In a few cases the problem just reduces, goes away, or we become tolerant towards it.
What will you do if you realize that you are faced with a problem that you cannot overcome by yourself, and none of your near and dear seem to be able to help? What will you do when, for various reasons, you feel that you cannot seek help from your nearest people? This can be a very distressing situation.
The problem may be financial, medical, legal, interpersonal, or physical. When the problem cannot be overcome, it becomes emotional. Emotional distress can be the worst thing that can happen to a person, because it even takes away the will and desire to fight it out. If you, or anyone dear to you, is in such a situation, all you have to do is to somehow build up the will power ... AND REACH OUT TO A COUNSELLOR.
A counsellor is not a problem solver. A counsellor does not have a prescription pad to give you medicines to be taken three times a day for three days. A counsellor also cannot interfere in your life and take decisions for you. Then why should you go to a counsellor at all?
What can a counsellor do for you? Primarily, a counsellor is a mirror!
You cannot know whether you hair is in place until you look into the mirror. The mirror does not suggest hairstyles, and does not comment even if you are looking like a clown. But the mirror shows you the reality, and that is what you need, After seeing the mirror, the decision is yours whether to comb, cut, and oil or reshape your hair, or whether to be happy the way it is.
- A counsellor is a person who listens to you with total acceptance, without any judgement, and without any distraction.
- The counsellor give you counselling support then helps you to put your thoughts in order, to convert your impulsive and emotional decisions into more rational ones.
- The counsellor helps you to explore all the alternatives available to you (including many that you may not have thought of because of your confusion or depression), evaluate the pros and cons of each decision.
- The counsellor then empowers you to become proactive, take your own decisions, and keep moving ahead.
- The counsellor is a great moral and emotional support during this difficult period of reshaping you life, and a reliable friend thereafter for life.
Does the above make sense? Do you think it is worth a try? Do you think counselling helps? No counsellor can promise you miracles or instant solutions. But the counsellor can give you the warm feeling that there is someone who cares, someone who is there for you, and someone with whom you can share without any hesitation or inhibition.
What are the qualities you should look for in a counsellor?
Look for the following qualities of your proposed counsellor: A genuine human being, or "nice guy" (The most important trait). One who is available when you need her the most. One who listens without interrupting. A person who is non-judgemental and can give you unconditional acceptance. One who has your well-being in her heart, and can be patient with you And lastly: A person who makes you feel warm, comfortable, whom you can trust your deepest secrets with.
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FREE Online Psychological Counselling by Banjara Academy for anyone, anywhere in the world
- Are you stressed about your child?
- Is your marriage in trouble?
- Are you stressed about your education?
- Do you feel overwhelmed by anxiety and fear?
Just mail your counsellor now, sharing your problems, your worries, your anxieties, your fears. Your counsellor will reply to you, and be there for you until you need her to help you cope and get going.
Leading Banjara Academy's online email counselling team of volunteer-counsellors, I realize it is not an easy task reaching out to a person one has never met, never seen, without the added advantage of gestures, eye contact, a gentle reassuring touch, tone of voice and yet providing empathy, positive strokes, making the person feel heard and understood.
With the aid of only written words, it is quite a task building trust, making people open up and share and helping them cope and feel better. So when in many instances they write back saying thank you and that they feel so much better, the feeling one gets is priceless and incomparable - knowing one has done something right, something good!
Hats off to all the volunteeer-counsellors of Banjara Academy who have been carrying on this work silently, anonymously for the last couple of years. Truly commendable! - Sreedhar MA