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“Child Behavior and Discipline”

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

Perma-link for article: http://www.banjaraacademy.org/child-discipline-techniques-by-counsellor-author-life-coach-dr-ali-khwaja

Unfortunately most discipline techniques are based on what NOT to do, and not on training the child WHAT to do.

  • Explain rules clearly – repeat periodically, when there is no issue.
  • Do brainstorming “what is discipline” and then “why is discipline needed”
  • Do a workshop on “self-discipline”, including delayed gratification
  • Take child’s opinion in framing rules, explain certain rules cannot be changed (and why)
  • Explain what punishment is given, why, how (including for repeated offences)
  • Punishment to be given without delay, but be patient, bring down your temper
  • Describe the action of the child, and how it broke the rules. Listen to his side of the story
  • Bring in the human element – your emotions – “I felt sad when you …..”
  • Do not pull down self-esteem of the child. Punish the act, not the child
  • Ask yourself truthfully whether the punishment is necessary. Be a role model
  • Think of constructive punishment. No corpora punishment under any circumstance
  • Consistency: e.g. the word “shit” is not allowed. If it is allowed/not allowed on different occasions, it confuses the child and gives the impression “It is me who is bad”.
  • Immediately after punishing, show friendliness and concern for the child
  • Develop assertiveness – calm and forceful personality
  • Keep identifying and appreciating good qualities of child. Punish the act, not the child
  • Keep an eye out for those who disrupt, and engage their minds otherwise.

Aim for “inner transformation” rather than “forced compliance” It works !

About the author


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