Aab's Musings-14 -No Biography for self

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

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Aab knows he can never become an orator. He cannot shout, he cannot scream in the frenzy of artificial passions. He can only speak from the heart, whether he is speaking to one person or one thousand. He speaks only what is necessary, only that which can benefit the listener. He values the time of others, not his own. He believes that the time of the common man is as important as that of a governor. He finds it very difficult to talk about himself. Not because he has anything to hide, not because he does not know how to express himself. Not because he is too proud. Ironically, it is for the very opposite reason-he suffers form low self-esteem. He truly believes that no one is interested in him, his life or his experiences. And he has reason to believe so-everyone talks to him about themselves, hardly anyone asks him about him. They take it for granted that everything that is to be known about him is known. They feel a strong invisible barrier between them and him. No one knows why, least of all Aab. At times when he has tired to share something very personal about himself, he has found the listener either disbelieving, thinking it is a joke, or just ignoring due to intense discomfort of not knowing how to respond. The stage has come when Aab himself is forgetting his biography. His past has become a blurred hazy picture, his experiences seem as though they are of someone else, and his life seems devoid of any history. He is not unhappy with development. For him, the present is sufficient, this moment is eternity.

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