Aab's Musings-02 - Looking for Loneliness

Author: Dr. Ali Khwaja

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Historians are human too, and they select who to write about, depending on what they perceive is the importance of the person. Since Aab never had, or acquired, any importance, historians did not record his coming or going. Aab probably came into this world, long, long ago, unsung and un-celebrated. There was no guiding star in the sky, no outbursts of joy, and no predictions of a great future for the new born. Because nature has ordained it that way, and because basic nutrition was available, Aab probably grew up like any other human being. But though his body grew like any other, his mind did not grow like others. Like a plant that has been deprived vertical growth, his mind branched off haphazardly. Some branches even came down to earth again, while others kept extending without direction till they reached nowhere.

Probably Aab was like an unkempt and unwanted weed in a nicely organized garden – the garden of society where gardeners and owners meticulously lay down rules of which plant should grow where, how and when. Aab’s throne was the curb stone. His job was to sit and watch when everyone was rushing around, and to get up and walk when everyone went back to their nests. He did not manage to acquire any titles or status, not even an identity. In fact he lived amidst civilized society like a stray dog that is tolerated, at times pitied, and at times shooed away. Aab contributed nothing to the society around him. He did not build monuments or missions. He could not create organizations or assets. He could give nothing, because he had nothing to give amongst the things that the world wanted. And yet, like the perennial pie dog that gets hurt, bleeds, starves and cringes in the rainstorms, Aab continued to survive. Perhaps for centuries – no one really knows, or cares. Aab’s greatest failure was to get people to love each other. He tried, he tried relentlessly and for a long time.

But he not only did not succeed, he managed to do the reverse. Aab’s presence was such a thorn that people who would have otherwise lived harmoniously, started doubting each other. Aab raked up issues and thoughts that are not supposed to disturb a peaceful society. He raised up questions that not only people did not have answers for, but hated the very questions. And hence they started looking at each other suspiciously – particularly those who were seen in his company. Aab cringed at the thought of the damage he was causing –but being illiterate and an ignoramus, he did not know how to change. All he knew was that his existence amongst people was causing immense damage. He knew that this damage would end only with his end. But for a person who had no beginning, when and how would the end be? He continued to exist for a long time, much longer than he should have – and left behind him so many scars that would take a very long time to heal.

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